Bakura's first trip to the psychologist!
by Psycho BakuRyou
Summary: The continuation to Bakura's trip to Kinder.Bakura travels to the psychologist...in Marik's mini-van.Will Bakura reveal if he likes Marik or not? And you'll never guess who the psychologist is!


Bakura's first trip to the psychologist!

"It was time. The time of fate is upon us and destiny will—

"Shut the fuck up Ishizu." Bakura said in the backseat of Marik's mini-van folding his arms angrily and spraying Lysol and cleaning his hands with antiseptic ever five seconds in fear he would be infected because there was Marik germs flying everywhere.

"Whooo! Look at that fresh meat over there let's attack him and infect him!" One of Marik's germs said.

"Yea! Let's go I want to see suffering!" Another one of Marik's germs said.

Bakura squealed when he saw the germs flying near him (don't ask how he saw germs…just another reason why he has to go to a psychologist) and sprayed Lysol fogging up the whole car.

"Ahhh! He was armed! Why didn't we see that coming! Oh what a world what a world ooooooo!" the germ said dissolving in the air.

"Ha! Take that bitch!" Bakura screamed at nothing.

Marik pulled over the car and opened the window for the cop.

"Your windows are fogged up. How are you supposed to see?" The police asked grabbing a pen.

"You can't be serious you're giving me a ticket just because the people in the back seat where having sex and they couldn't stop breathing all over the place!" Marik asked angrily.

The cop looked back and saw Bakura spraying the air and cleaning his hands with Ryou sitting next to him reading a health magazine.

"You know Macdonald's burgers have enough fat to fit in a Gerber baby container?" Ryou asked flipping the page. "Amazing." He said.

"APRIL FOOLS! HAHAHAHA!" Marik laughed.

"It's not April." The cop said.

"Whatever it was a joke. I'd probably be the one back there breathing on all the windows if you…haha catch my drift." Marik said.

"No…I don't. Just clean your windows." The cop said driving off.

"Hurry Marik! I want to get to this damn place already and leave as quickly as possible. Remember we still have to pick up Yami Mairk from the fucking beauty parlor. Like his hair needs any more tune ups." Ishizu said.

They pulled up in the beauty parlor and Marik hit I dunno how many cars and did a perpendicular park instead of a parallel park.

Bakura threw himself outside and inhaled deeply.

"Free! Free! I can breathe!" Bakura screamed.

Yami Marik snuck up on Bakura and tried to scare him.

"Oh…hi." Bakura said smiling at him and taking his hands off him.

"I didn't scare you?" Yami Marik asked looking around for Marik's car.

"No." Bakura said spraying Lysol, holy water and antiseptics on his arms when Yami Marik wasn't looking. _Looks like Marik…talks like Marik…not as stupid as Marik…ugly as Marik…same rules apply…he be infected too._

Marik smashed into more cars and ran over the garden in the beauty parlor trying to get out of the parking lot.

"Dude are you serious…I didn't scare you? I scared the shit out of the girl next to you." Yami Marik asked.

"I'm serious. You didn't scare me. Dude…you're not scary." Bakura said putting some plastic wrap on.

"Not…scary?" Yami Marik asked sniffing.

"Yea. You're not scary. You never were. Yugi's just a chicken shit and was scared of you, but you're not…scary. Ok." Bakura said now becoming "Bubble boy"

Yami Marik cried. "I'm not scary anymore Marik! Take me to my psychiatrist or psychologist or whatever the fuck I see that they give me this injection to regain my self-esteem." Yami Marik sniffed.

"Injection!" Bakura almost screamed.

Ryou stopped reading and patted the bubble Bakura was in.

"They're not gonna inject you…you don't take that class Bakura. Just simple questions, maybe some pictures here and there some tests…the—coughs hysterically—injection—coughs again—and that's it." Ryou said.

"Ryou you should really take some cough drops for that. You might catch a cold." Bakura said.

"Thanks…I'll keep that in mind." Ryou said sarcastically and reading his magazine again.

"Ryou, you think I'm scary right!" Yami Marik asked blowing his nose.

"Yea sure why not?" Ryou said flipping another page.

"Ryou's a chicken shit he's afraid of dust bunnies and mildew and butterflies…and cockroaches—but I'm afraid of them too don't get me wrong they're really ugly. That's why Marik scares the shit out of me and I get away from him because he resembles a cockroach—he's also afraid of…ladybugs, pizza…pepperoni…grated cheese, but he's not afraid of round cheese. What else? He's afraid of porno, gangsters…channel 84 where they show people like "getting it on" channel 12, um…….oh yea and cats

3 ½ hours later

"This guy named Chris or something like that, this car, mosquitoes, our science teacher, boogers he's racist against people who blow there nose—Yami Marik stopped blowing his nose—whales, me when I act all…um…channel 84ish. Hehehehehehe!…

"Yes! Oh my god! That's some freaky shit going on when he gets channel 84ish. Starts molesting the walls, the table, the TV once…MY CAR! Oh…poor car. I always lock my door and if he opens it I hide in the closet, but he doesn't know that." Ryou said.

"Oh well I do now thanks Ryou. Be careful when I act like that one of these days I might just…

"Shut the hell up Bakura. By the way he's lying I'm not afraid of any of those things. I'm just a jumpy person." Ryou said.

"Jumpy hmmm what happened Ryou?" Bakura asked suspiciously.

"Nothing." Ryou lied.

"You're lying!" Bakura screamed. He saw a Marik germ float around his bubble ball like a vulture and glare at him. "Haha you can't get me nani nani boo boo!" Bakura teased sticking his tongue out.

"Well, if you insist. When I was…a little kid…they threw me in the ball pit and I couldn't get out and I was scared and I was crying and then Chuck E. Cheese came out and tried to hug me and I had a tantrum and it was awful." Ryou sniffed.

"You're a baby. I took on Chuck E. Cheese when I was four. Crippled him good." Bakura said feeling proud.

"We're here!" Marik sang.

Marik's singing burst Bakura's bubble exposing him to the thousands of little vulture Marik germs waiting for him outside.

"AHHHHHH! AHHH! I'M EXPOSED RYOU! RYOU SPRAY! SPRAY! SPRAY FOR YOUR LIFE!" Bakura screamed throwing holy water on himself.

Ryou sprayed and it was empty. "You used it all." He said.

Bakura jumped out the car and ran to the building. "Free. Free. It's over." He sighed.

"Attack!" The germs said flying quickly towards Bakura.

Bakura dodged the little germs and Ryou, Marik, Ishizu and Yami Marik looked at him dodge air. He pulled the Matrix and grabbed Ryou so he could be attacked.

"Oh nice. I love how you put me before things. You're to kind." Ryou said sarcastically.

"My life was at stake." Bakura said relieved.

Yami Marik tried scaring Bakura again in the lobby.

"Dude…drop it. You're not the least bit scary. Let it go." Bakura said.

Yami Marik cried and ran up the stairs.

"Come on Bakura…it's time to see your psychologist." Ryou said.

Bakura grabbed Ryou's arm and trembled in fear.

"You'll be ok Bakura. When have I ever lied to you?" Ryou asked.

"Well…there was the dentist, Kindergarten, the Casserole! Ugh! Nasty piece of shit. Now this." Bakura said.

"Well…this will be different aside from the—coughs hysterically—injection—coughs again—everything will be fine." Ryou said.

"When we get home, I'll give you some medicine for that cold of yours. Wouldn't want my wittle baby getting sicky poo now would I? No I wouldn't. No I wouldn't. Because I need him to take me out fun places." Bakura said pinching Ryou's cheeks.

"You make me sick." Ryou said opening the door.

Bakura gasped. "It's you!" He screamed.

The old lady that had checked him out…checked him out licked her lips and lost her teeth. "Come…sit. I've been expecting you." She said.

"You're right…she is creepy." Ryou whispered to Bakura.

"Well take your seat…don't mind my assistant next door she's taking care of some other guy there named Marik—

"Ahhhh!" Bakura screamed.

"Youll be alright. He's all the way over there Bakura even though the door's opened he can't get you." Ryou said sitting him down.

"Ooooh what songs playing over here!" Marik asked running inside. "Ooh that's my jam! I don't want another pretty face I don't want just anyone to hold I don't want my love to go to waste I just want you and your beautiful ass! Oooooh oohh ohhhh!" Marik sang horribly.

"He's disturbing the peace!" Bakura screamed throwing stuff at him. "Ah! Ah! Get…out!" He strained throwing a vase at him.

"I don't want just anyone to hold I just want your ass! OOOhhh just your perky little ass ooooooooooohhhh ass ass ass." Marik sang dodging all the objects.

"It's soul Marik." Ryou said.

"Well…a soul can't be beautiful. You can't see a soul. A soul…is nothing. We have no souls." Marik said.

"And that's what gets people into hell." Bakura said sharpening his knife and aiming it at Marik's head. He stopped sharpening his knife. "But then he'll be there with me! No Marik has a soul god! He doesn't deserve to got to hell! He's a nice little boy!" Bakura cried.

"Yea right. I'm a naughty little boy. Rarr." Marik said smiling innocently.

"No! You're nice! Go away!" Bakura screamed shielding his eyes.

"Alright coming up next it's a song for all those wonderful ladies—

"And Marik." Bakura said interrupting the commercial guy in the radio.

They started playing "Shake your groove thing" on the radio.

"I love this song too!" Marik said shaking his ass.

"Oh it's the ass of destruction! Get him out! I'll have nightmares for thirty days!" Bakura screamed covering his eyes. He threw the knife without looking and stabbed the elevator guy.

Ryou booted Marik out so they can start with their session.

"Alright mister Bakura. Our first lesson is…Cheese." The old lady said.

"Cheese. I'm…lacto intolerant." Bakura said.

"No you're not Bakura my casserole had cheese in it and all those dairy products in it." Ryou said.

"But I almost died because…it was—gags—healthy!" Bakura cried.

"Alright. You see this cheese?" The old lady asked.

"Yes." Bakura said following the cheese.

"Make it into…the shape of Florida." She said.

"What the fuck does that have to do with anything!" Ryou asked screaming.

"Who's the psychologist! Me! Now shut your yap and watch!" The old lady screamed spitting her teeth and hitting Bakura.

"Ow!" Bakura cried rubbing his cheek.

He cried for hours until he finally got an icepack.

"Now…let's see what you can do." The old lady said.

Bakura stared blankly at the cheese.

"Go on…make it into Florida." The old lady said.

"I don't know what Florida looks like." Bakura said.

"Well…I'll tell you then. There comes a time when a baby is born and it can either be a girl or a boy. You can tell the different because…a boy has like this little wormy thingy. A girl doesn't. Florida…is a long wormy thingy. Have you ever taken a bath?" The old lady asked.

"Yes……..maybe……….no." Bakura said.

"Well…Ryou here has to have taken a bath. Go explain your…thingy." The old lady said.

"Florida looks like this." Ryou said drawing it on a piece of paper disgusted at what the old lady expected him to do.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Bakura said.

He bit the cheese so it looked like Florida.

"Hmmm…interesting. Now…I want you to…swipe butter on my bread." The old lady said.

"What!" Ryou screamed.

Bakura swiped butter everywhere and when he opened his eyes butter was all over the room except on the bread.

"Now I can't eat my sandwich thanks a lot you good for nothing bitch." The old lady said tossing her bread out the window and watching some homeless fight for it.

"Alright since that didn't work…I want you to throw this M&M in the air and catch it with your mouth. Say aaaah and throw the M&M and chew it when it lands in your mouth." The old lady said.

Bakura tried about 100 times and gave up saying he was a lousy good for nothing loser that couldn't do anything.

"Let Ryou show you." The old lady said passing him a green M&M.

"Oh…I couldn't I might choke. I'm very prone to choking and lady…I don't like CPR every time I'm choking." Ryou said.

"There's a 0 to 100 chance you will choke. Believe me everyone's done it." The old lady said fixing her bun.

"Well…" Ryou said unsure.

"Please Ryou…I wanna learn how to do it. I wanna feel special. I wanna feel like a somebody. I wanna be an Oscar Mayer Wiener." Bakura said begging.

"Oooooh I wish to be an Oscar Mayer Wiener that is what I truly wish to be. And if I was an Oscar Mayer wiener…I would…um…be happy. My bologna has a first name…is O-q-u-a-r-s. My bologna has a second name is M-c-p-e-e. And if you ask me what I sa-a-a-a-a-a-y Oscar Mayer has a way with H-a-m-p-q-r-a. And that's how I won the spelling bee." Marik said smiling.

" Get out Marik." Ryou said watching Bakura close his eyes. "Ok. I'm only doing this because…I dunno you said Oscar Mayer wiener and their products are good." Ryou said.

Ryou gulped. _I can do this. I can do this. You won't choke Ryou. You're a big brave dog. You're a big brave dog. Ok. Here we go._ He threw the M&M up in the air and swallowed it when it reached his mouth. "I did it! I did it!" Ryou cheered.

"Good job Ryou!" Bakura said slapping his back hard.

Ryou felt the M&M come up to his throat and started choking on it.

"You don't see that everyday." Bakura said.

Ryou started choking and tried doing the Heimlich maneuver on himself.

"Dun dun dun daa!" Marik sang like his type of fanfare. "I'll save you Ryou!" Marik said throwing himself on him and doing CPR.

Ryou muffled screams and turned purple.

Bakura gasped and grabbed Ryou. "Dude Ryou look at that guy picking his nose over there!" He said pushing Ryou into the wall making him spit the M&M out and shooting the guy who was picking his nose.

Ryou sighed in relief.

"Oh…no! I touched you!" Bakura screamed pointing at Ryou.

"What you're afraid of me now too?" Ryou asked.

"No! Marik's germy body was just like was on you! You're infected Ryou! Now I'm infected for touching you!" Bakura screamed.

"Yes! We're on the body. Now try to get in the body find ones go for the nose. The eyes or the mouth! Move! Move! Move!" The germs said running up Bakura's arms.

"EEEEEEEP!" Bakura screamed spraying Lysol, holy water and antiseptics all over his body.

"No! We've failed." The germs said falling to the ground and dieing.

"I know what I'm going to do. I'm going to create…Anti-sep Lysol water." Bakura said mixing the Lysol antiseptic and holy water together.

Ryou slapped his forehead.

"Ok…now that Bakura's finished, let's move on to the "Quick questions" The old lady said dramatically.

_Finally something normal._ Ryou sat down next to Bakura.

"Alright. Bakura you answer quickly without thinking ready go!" The old lady said.

"Do you like casserole?" She asked.

'No." Bakura said.

"Do you like bathing?" She asked.

"Hell fuck no." Bakura said.

"Are you sad?" She asked.

"No." Bakura said.

"Are you afraid?" She asked.

"That's the same damn question!" Ryou said.

"Shut it!" She screamed.

"No." Bakura said.

"Are you protective?" She asked.

"Yes." Bakura said rubbing his Anti-Sep Lysol water.

"Do you like Marik?" She asked.

"Yes." Bakura said.

Everyone gasped and Marik popped his head in the room.

"I mean No!" Bakura screamed. "I…what was the question again?" He asked.

"You like Marik! Awwww how sweet." The old lady said.

"You like me! Does this means we'll be friend forever and ever and ever and ever! Will you give me a high five and make friendship collages of me and you like Tea does with all her friends! Will you hug me and not spray Lysol all the time! Will you stay at my house and watch scary movies together with me on the couch!" Marik asked grabbing his hands.

"No! I don't like you! It was a…trick question." Bakura said.

"Then explain why the cheese that was "supposed" to look like Florida…looked like Marik!" The old lady screamed.

"Uh…" Bakura said dumbly.

Marik hugged Bakura and snuggled his head quickly against his. "We'll be friends forever and ever and ever Bakura!" He said grabbing his hand and forcing a high five.

"Ha! I got one!" He screamed.

"No! I don't like Marik! Ah! The germs they're consuming me!" Bakura screamed.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA SUCCESS! WE'VE MADE IT!" The germs screamed cheering.

Bakura sprayed himself and swallowed some.

"Incoming!" The germs screamed trying to run away from the disinfectant.

"Admit it Bakura…you do like Marik." Ryou said.

"No! I don't! He's ugly, stupid gay and…I hate him!" Bakura screamed.

A guy lifted a sign that says "Awww" and everyone "Awwwed" while Marik left sadly.

Bakura saw how sad Marik was and sighed. "Marik…" He said sadly.

"Marik looked at him happily. He knew Bakura was going to say he didn't mean it. He was flexing his arms getting ready to hug him when he said it.

"I…I…meant everything." Bakura said.

A glass broke making the scene perfect for how broken Marik's heart was. "Sorry." Yami Marik said.

The guy lifted a sign that said "OOOOOOOOOH" and everyone "OOOOed."

Marik sniffed and cried running away from Bakura.

"Well…he has no heart what do you expect." Ryou said to the psychologist.

Bakura sat down on the chair.

"Now Bakura. Tell me…why were you sent here?" The old lady asked.

"Well…I talk to myself, I had it in for some guy named John because he stole Ryou and…I'm afraid of the toilet." Bakura said.

"All…very strange symptoms. Now I'll show you some pictures and you tell me what you see…we'll get what we want when you say it." The old lady said.

"A castle." Bakura said when she raised the picture.

"A knife to kill Marik." He said.

"Um…A 2.2.4 Mach 5 butterfly racer to run over Marik." Bakura said.

The old lady looked at the picture and saw a circle.

"Last one." She said.

"Jell-o." Bakura said. He licked hi lips. "Yummy…jell-o."

"Alright. Let me scan this and I'll be back." The old lady said.

"I'm going downstairs to get something to eat Bakura. I'll get you some jell-o." Ryou said.

"Don't choke." Bakura laughed.

Ryou laughed sarcastically and grumbled.

Bakura listened to the commotion going on in Marik's room.

"He said I wasn't scary. I'm a very scary person. I can scare anyone, but he said…I wasn't scary. Do you think I'm scary? Ra dammit why aren't I scary? I used to scare everyone!" Yami Marik cried.

"You're just going through a hard time Yami Marik. You're a scary person." The psychologist said.

"Really? You think so?" Yami Marik asked sniffing.

"Yes." The psychologist said.

Everything got quiet.

"Dude you're hitting on me get your hands off me!" Yami Marik screamed.

"What? No…I…" The psychologist stuttered.

"You don't think I'm scary! You think I'm a sex appealer! Oh I'm ashamed! I attract sex-addicts!" Yami Marik cried.

Yami Marik screamed and gave a relieved sigh.

"There. That should calm you down." The psychologist said.

"I scared everyone. And that stupid Bakura said I wasn't scary…my self-esteem is so low. How will I ever live again?" Yami Marik cried.

"Tell me everything that happened." The psychologist said.

"Well…it all started when Marik was 12. I was born. He was so much older than me and he picks on me and makes fun of me and…it's awful. They always make fun of my forehead and call me three eyes and they like to take me to camp so I can be the flashlight. It's sad really…

That went on for about 4 hours.

"Then when I was 5 years old I rode my first pony and I blinded it with the light on my head. Odion smacked the shit out of me saying I blinded our best racing horse. I was punished." Yami Marik sniffed.

In the next room…

Bakura was lying crippled with his tongue out dead from Yami Marik's life story and little flies flying around his head.

Ryou came through the door with his shirt on backwards, hair messed up and pants unbuckled.

"Don't ever! Ever go downstairs! I just got raped 13 times." Ryou said kicking Bakura awake from his dead stage.

"I was listening to Yami Marik's life story. Oh Ra what a fucking horrible life! So many of his animals died because of him and his forehead I'd expect Marik to kill them all because…he's ugly. Psssh I'd die if I even lived with Marik." Bakura said licking his jell-o.

"Please don't do that. That's disgusting." Ryou said watching Bakura lick his jell-o.

"Haha. Look what I can do." Bakura said sticking his tongue through it.

"Ew." Ryou said.

The old lady came in with Bakura's results.

"What do I have doc?" Bakura asked. "I've always wanted to say that." He said clapping his hands.

"You have…cold feet." She said.

"Cold…feet? Is that some sort of harmful disease that can kill him?" Ryou asked.

"No. His feet are just cold. I recommend you stick his feet in some hot water. There sessions over give me 1,000 bucks." The old lady said.

"1,000 bucks! Just so you could tell me he had fucking cold feet! I could've touched his feet and said oh he had cold feet what the hell! This is highway robbery!" Ryou screamed.

"Oh no Ryou's gonna pull another Philippi and the cops like at the restaurant. Ryou stop being a cheap ass and pay the damn bitch. I wanna go home. They're giving a documentary on Koalas…I can't miss it." Bakura said.

"Bakura…not now. We're talking." Ryou said.

Ryou raised his hands in the air. "I can't believe that we stayed here for…god damn 9 hours!" He said.

"The Koala documentary!" Bakura cried.

"Don't worry I got it on tape." Marik said.

"I don't wanna watch it now." Bakura said.

"Ryou I know you're cheap, but rules are rules you owe me 1,000 dollars." The old lady said.

"You're probably gonna use it to buy drugs or sell them you fucking weird old lady! You're probably a prostitute in disguise! Hitting on my Yami like that. The nerve! I'm not paying you! I don't even know why I have to pay so much!" Ryou screamed.

"Because I showed him the pictures, asked him questions, gave him food and gave him an injection." The old lady said.

"You did not give him an injection." Ryou said.

"And I don't want one." Bakura said mushing his Jell-o.

"Oh that's right. Injection time!" The old lady said grabbing a huge needle.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! No! She's not touching me with that!" Bakura screamed hiding behind Ryou.

"It won't hurt a bit." She said grabbing Bakura's arm.

"I know Karate! And Tae-kwon do! And all that Chinese Japanese protection and Buddha shit!" Bakura screamed.

She was an inch away from shooting his arm when he grabbed her and chucked her out the window with the homeless people and watched them eat her.

"For once Bakura…you did the right thing. Let's go home." Ryou said.

They whistled innocently and walked out casually so no one suspected anything.

Yami Marik snuck up on Bakura and tried to scare him.

"Ah." Bakura screamed dully and sarcastically.

"Ha! I scared you! Yes! I am the master! I am the Pokemon master! Who's your daddy! Who's your daddy! In your face!" Yami Marik screamed.

" I never had a daddy. A stork brought me home. My mom did it with a goat." Bakura said.

"Oh I'm so sorry." Yami Marik said.

"Psych! Oh and I guess you don't know a sarcastic scream when you hear one." Bakura said.

Yami Marik cried and ran back up to his psychologist for another injection and another Ninja turtles bandage.

"Well…that was pointless." Ryou said in Marik's car driving home.

"Hey I had fun remember the time when I pulled the rubber ducky out of my pants. That was so awesome." Bakura said.

"You never did that." Ryou said.

"Haha! April fools!" Marik screamed.

"It's not April Marik." Everyone screamed.

"Yes it is! Look Ap-ril!" Marik said pointing at the calendar's month that said September. "Ape! Ape is in the word April!" Marik laughed.

"Ugh. Marik needs a brain transplant." Ishizu said.

"Ishizu's back! Wow. She's quite the chatterbox." Bakura said sarcastically.

"I don't talk to losers. Especially bubble boy here and April guy." Ishizu said.

"Dude it's for protection I could die." Bakura said.

"Oh why haven't you yet!" Ryou cried.

"You don't mean that right?" Bakura sniffed.

Ryou stayed quiet.

"I knew you didn't mean it." Bakura said trying to hug him. He grunted trying to hug him and pushed the bubble near him. "There." He said.

"I'm a fucking tea pot here's my fucking stout. Where's my fucking handle where's my fucking…fucking…um…whatever spout. When you tip me over…fuck fuck fuck. Ring-a-round the fucking rosies a pocket full of fucking posies burn to ashes burn to ashes they all fall down!" Yami Marik sang clapping his hands.

"Those are the uncensored nursery rhythms." Bakura said still eating Jell-o. His jell-o fell on the floor and dissolved in thin air. "It was the Marik germs they ate my jell-o!" Bakura screamed.

Ryou rolled Bakura out of the car and up the stairs to the apartment.

Bakura crawled out of his bubble and breathed the fresh Bakura and Ryou non-Marik air in their apartment. He grabbed a ball and started dribbling it.

"Today sucked. I missed the Koala documentary." Bakura said.

"You can't have your cake and eat it too." Ryou said.

"………Yes I can." Bakura said. "Watch." He said grabbing a cake and eating it.

"Ugh. You're too literal for your own good." Ryou said.

He dribbled the ball quickly and smacked himself in the face. "Oh! Ow! Ryou! The ball hit me! Die!" Bakura screamed sending the ball to the shadow realm and crying some more. "Why is everything so mean to me! I'm a good boy!" Bakura cried.

Ryou coughed hysterically.

"Here Ryou have a cough drop." Bakura said sticking it in his mouth making him choke.

"Here we go again." Bakura said rolling his eyes. "This is like an everyday thing now Ryou. Come on. Chew your food man. This is becoming a problem." Bakura said staring at Ryou who was signaling him to punch his stomach.

Ryou locked all the doors and windows so Marik couldn't come in the house.

"I'm coming Ryou!" Marik screamed sliding down the chimney.

Everyone started hearing the little fanfare become louder and louder as Marik got closer.

"This was just like Jurassic park…when they always look at the water because they hear this doooom…doooom and the water has like ripples and some T-rex comes out of nowhere and goes RARARRRRR! And bites one of their heads off." Bakura said to Ryou.

Ryou moved away from Bakura.

Marik crawled out of the chimney.

"The fresh air! It's contaminated!" Bakura screamed. He held his breath and ran to his room sticking a blanket under the door so the Marik germs couldn't seep through the bottom of the door.

"Breathe Ryou! Breathe! I'm losing you!" Marik screamed.

"I forgot what Ryou was choking on." Bakura said scratching his head. "Oh yea. I chocked him with my cough drop." He giggled.

The cough drop in Ryou's throat dissolved.

"Ah, CPRist Marik Ishtar saves the day once again." Marik said helping Ryou up.

"You've never saved me! You make it worse! It goes deeper in my throat every time you breathe in my mouth!" Ryou screamed.

"Who said I was in it for the CPR?" Marik asked smiling innocently at him.

"Oh god!" Ryou screamed.

"Don't wanna be an American idiot! Because Marik's already got that job. Yea so fuck America lalalala American idiot Marik." Bakura sang in his room.

Marik skipped away and left a note in front of Bakura door.

Bakura heard the door slam and grabbed his Anti-sep Lysol water ready to spray and decontaminate the air.

"Yaaaaaaaaaa! Yaaaa ya! Ya!" Bakura screamed kicking the air and punching it trying to kill all the little germs.

"This is where you all die! And you won't be back!" Bakura screamed sounding like the guy Arnold (fucking long last name here) (he played in terminator. Lol. I can never spell his last name. Shwartzaneggar, Shwartzamahnigger hehe)

Bakura shook his bottle and saw it was empty. "Noooooo! I'm out of ammo!" He screamed running back into his room and jumping in the bubble.

"Dammit!" The Marik germs screamed.

"Bakura, you can't escape the Marik germs forever." Ryou said.

"You just watch me!" Bakura screamed from inside the bubble. "Nani nani boo boo." Bakura said teasingly and shaking his ass at the Marik germs looking at him from the bubble.

"We'll find a way to break through this bubbly thingy." One of the Marik germs said.

"And when we do…HE…WILL…DIE!" The second germ screamed laughing evilly.

"No dude we'll just make him sick. We're not that bad come on get that thought out of your head remember what happened to Jimmy when he said that. He ended up dying." One of the Marik germs said.

"Oh…Jimmy." The second germ sniffed.

"He was a good fellow, but…we have to move on now." The first Marik germ said patting the second germs back.

"I'm glad he died! He deserved to die and then…I'll get you two!" Bakura screamed at them.

"Who…the hell are you talking to?" Ryou asked.

"Oh the Marik germs." Bakura said.

"Yea…….." Ryou said looking at him strangely.

"Well Ryou, I think…I think I'm going to do something impossible now." Bakura said.

"Jump off a 20 foot building, get run over by a car and that car will send you all the way to Alaska and a giant killer whale will confuse you for a penguin or seal and eat you making you dissolve into it's acid and me being rid of you forever?" Ryou asked excitedly.

"No of course not. I'm gonna take a bath." Bakura said.

"I had my hopes up." Ryou sniffed.

"Well Ryou…I'm off to Neverland!" Bakura said.

"To Michael Jackson's place or with Peterpan?" Ryou asked.

"Um…………………hmmm. Was Michael Jackson the one who sang Grease lightening?" Bakura asked.

"No………….." Ryou said.

"Fuck him then" Bakura said. "I'm off to…bathe!"

(Sighs) I felt bad...see I wrote it. You're right fuck reviews as long as the people who read it think they're good…I'm happy. Plus 50 of America is illiterate. Lol. I don't know if that's right I just wanted to point out illiterate. And I don't think I can make it anymore obvious, but the next story is Bakura's first bath. R&R.

I just realized…I use Nani nani boo boo a lot. I miss that (sniffs) I used to tease everyone every time I would run away and say…Nani nani boo boo. Lol. Oh well…it's staying it sounds cute.


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